The Truth That Sets You Free
by N7sdr93
Summary: Deeks learns the truth about Afghanistan. Multi Chapter. Post 5x24.
1. Revelations

A/N: Hey guys! This is a story that has been bouncing around in my head for awhile now, and I thought I would share it with all of you guys. This story is pretty much a 180 to what I usually write. I must warn you, It's pretty angsty. If that's not your thing, you might not want to read this. I understand. Many thanks to aray48 for editing and "putting up with my bullshit." Now go bug her for Daddy Deeks updates. They work. Really.

aray48: I want it publicly known that this goes against everything I believe in. Seriously, _I filter out angst_! And what's he do? Oh hey Anna, come read/edit this, it's really angsty and you're not going to like it! I do not approve of the ending, I tried to talk him out of it, to no avail -_- but I'll hand it to him, i can truly see this happening and it's well written, had i had a more open mind about all things Densi, I'd probably really like this. (I also want it known i _definitely_ deserve more than 12 damn percent hahahahah!)

* * *

It had been six months.

Six whole months since talks of raccoons and three hearts.  
Six months since they dynamic between Deeks and Kensi had yet again taken a turn.

Deeks was tired of the stalemate between himself and his partner. He had backed off after hearing the tale of Paul Angelo. Something that Deeks needed to do for himself.

But now it was time to change it.

As much as he hated to admit it, Deeks needed an outside point of view on this particular topic.

Yes, Marty Deeks had finally had enough of tip toeing around his infamous 'thing' with Kensi. That wasn't the issue. What was is he didn't quite know how to proceed. Deeks knew what he wanted, it was just he didn't know how to get there.

So Deeks decided to call in the cavalry, so to speak.

Which is why Nell Jones was waiting for him at their favorite little hole-in-the-wall bar after he called.

Deeks and Nell had become good friends while Kensi was gone. It seemed that they both needed someone to fill that hole in their hearts that the Junior Agent usually filled.

What was surprising was that they continued to be really good friends after said Junior Agent returned.

Nell knew a great deal about a wide variety of topics. The relationships and inner workings of two of her best friends were definitely on that list. She also knew just what he most likely was going to talk about.

Kensi Blye.

Unfortunately she knew too much. The tiny red head had some information that she had been holding since Afghanistan; information that definitely needed to come out to play. Nell hated that she was going to have to share what she knew with her best male friend (outside Eric of course) and that it was going to hurt him.

But, if Deeks was going to move forward with Kensi, he needed to know the truth about Jack and Kensi and how she gave herself up in Afghanistan.

Nell could tell based on the expression on Deek's face as he walked in that this wasn't going to be a fun night for all parties involved.

Maybe she should have reconsidered her choice of a light beer instead of something harder.

"Hey Deeks, you sounded pretty serious on the phone. Is everything okay?" Nell asked, deciding to cut right to the chase_. It was better that way._

Deeks calmly took a seat next to Nell at the bar, and ordered what was on tap.

"Hey Nell." Deeks greeted, taking a sip of his beer as soon as it was placed in front of him. "I have a little problem, and I need your advice on something."

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Nell asked.

"I'm sure you're aware of mine and Kensi's relationship by now." Deeks started, rubbing his hands together anxiously.

"Or lack of one?" Nell interrupted, taking a sip of her beer. _Yeah, definitely need a stronger drink, _She decided.

"Yeah. That would probably be better." The shaggy liaison agreed with a light chuckle.

_Just cut to the chase already._ "So what is the issue Deeks?" Nell pressed. She wanted to get this over with; the analyst was not looking forward to his reaction to what she'd have to tell him.

"I want to get together with Kensi; I'm tired of all this back and forth between us. But I kind of turned her down a few months ago." Deeks said point blank.

Nell could see in his eyes that he quickly figured out that she already knew about this. Deeks didn't seem surprised_. Interesting_. "So you want to know what to do to get together with her?" Nell asked.

"Pretty much." Deeks stated simply.

Nell took a deep breath. She felt she was going to need it. "Well, I'm going to put this bluntly. Just tell her." Nell stated.

He blinked. "That simple huh?" Deeks asked, surprised.

"It is. But um, Deeks, before you go running off to talk to her, there are some pieces of the puzzle that you need. And I really don't think that this place is the best place for this conversation, so can we go somewhere more private?" Nell said.

Deeks looked puzzled, and maybe a little of something else. Concerned, perhaps? "Alright Nell. The beach work okay for ya?" Deeks drawled.

"That works. Let's go." Nell said, rising from her seat.

The sun had fully set once they arrived at Deeks favorite beach spot. Maybe that was poetic.

"Alright, so what is this about, Nellasourous?" Deeks asked, trying to inject a little humor into the evening. Nell could tell that she was making him nervous; that he didn't like the nervous energy bounding off of her.

She didn't like it either.

_Just rip it off, Nell. Like a Band-Aid. _She thought. "Afghanistan." Nell said bluntly.

Nell could see the surprise in his eyes. He didn't seem to hide much from her. She would think about that later.

"W-what about it?" He inquired cautiously. That was a time Deeks was not eager to think about.

"There are some things about it that you aren't going to like. Some things that Hetty isn't going to want you to know. She even told me not to tell you." Nell said, nervously.

Deeks must have picked up on her nervousness, because he placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "It's okay Velma, I can take it." He said, calmly. _Let's see how long that calmness lasts._ Nell thought with an internal sigh.

_Band-Aid._ "Kensi wasn't… really captured in Afghanistan. She surrendered herself willingly." Nell said in a rush.

Deeks blinked. He blinked again. He opened his mouth several times, but nothing came out. It was a full minute before Deeks finally processed this. "Huh?" Deeks asked ineloquently.

"She wasn't captured. She surrendered willingly." Nell repeated. "Kensi saw who the White Ghost was, and it was someone that she used to know. Someone she was once engaged to..." Nell trailed off.

Deeks sat in the sand looking out at the ocean for a few minutes, mulling over what Nell had just told him. She had told him the whole story about Jack and Kensi, or at least what the red head knew.

He could tell Nell knew he needed a moment to process this mind bomb, so she looked up at the sky, trying to find star constellations while she waited for him to speak. In another situation, Deeks would have appreciated that. But in that moment, he didn't care what she did.

_Kensi gave herself up to the Taliban? Just to talk to Jack?_ Deeks thought to himself.

That made absolutely no sense to him. It was easily _the_ most idiotic thing he had ever heard of Kensi doing. Why would she willingly give herself over to them just for a slight chance of talking to Jack? Kensi had to know once she committed herself to the course of action, there was no turning back from it. Plus, it was basically suicide. Deeks didn't know the specifics of what the Taliban does to Americans, but he _did_ know it wasn't pretty, and often lead to death. And a woman to boot? She was all but asking to be raped and murdered by those monsters. And yet Kensi willing handed herself over. _Why_?

And then it all slammed into him all at once.

_Kensi was still in love with Jack. _

Deeks was just second place. Kensi was settling for him because she couldn't have Jack. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Deeks had always wondered if this was true, but had dismissed it. Kensi was just waiting for Jack to return. Deeks wasn't what she really wanted; he was just a fill in. But Deeks couldn't go there; he couldn't be second to anybody, when he had his entire heart invested. He wouldn't.

Except now Deeks didn't have a choice. The evidence was right in front of him, impossible not to see once he knew.

Apparently Jack had made it absolutely clear to Kensi that there was no chance for them to pick up where they left off. That would explain why she was more aggressive in pursuing Deeks. At least more aggressive by Kensi-relationship-standards.

It was clear to Deeks now: he was the second choice. The backup guy. She couldn't have Jack, so Kensi would settle for the blue eyed, blonde haired surfer cop who adored her. Deeks didn't like that. Not at all.

In fact, he started to get angry. As angry as Deeks ever remembered himself ever getting angry. Max Gentry didn't have anything on Deeks Rage.

Suddenly, Deeks leapt to his feet, the movement startling Nell, and began to pace. She couldn't remember a time when he looked that angry. She could hear Deeks muttering to himself, but could not make out what he was saying. The analyst knew she needed to calm him down.

Rising to her feet, Nell walked directly into Deeks' path. Deeks stopped, fists clenched, breathing deeply. She tentatively grabbed his wrist. "Deeks?" Nell asked cautiously.

He didn't respond for a long moment. Nell began to rub his arms, hoping he would calm down. Slowly, his breathing slowed, and his fists unclenched.

And then the last thing that Nell thought would happen, happened.

Deeks' knees wobbled slightly, before they gave out completely and he sank to his knees, beginning to sob. The sight broke Nell's heart.

Nell slowly sat next to Deeks and took him into her arms. He responded by wrapping his arms around her petite waist and burring his face in her neck. "I got you, Shaggy." Nell whispered softly, rubbing his back as he sobbed.

He kept trying to say something, but it was impossible to understand past his cries. After what seemed an eternity, but couldn't have been more than ten minutes, his sobs began to die down.

Nell made no move to let go of him, if anything she squeezed him tighter. She knew what was running through his mind. It simply broke her heart to see her friend in such pain.

"Do you want to talk?" Nell finally asked.

Deeks made a move to pull away, but the tiny woman wouldn't let him.

"I… I'm her _second choice_ Nell. All this time I thought… I thought she was willing to make our thing work. And I guess she still is. But it is her _backup plan_, whereas it was my _only_ plan." Deeks whispered sadly.

Nell didn't think her heart could break any more. She was wrong.

The sheer devastation and resignation in his voice would no doubt haunt her for the rest of her life. She felt a little responsible for this whole scenario. Logically Nell knew that Kensi would most likely never reveal this information to Deeks in order to cover it up. That thought annoyed the petite redhead.

"It's not your fault Deeks. You know that right?" Nell said, leaning Deek's head on her shoulder and running her hand through his hair in a comforting motion.

"It must be. It always seems to work out this way. Perhaps it's for the best." Deeks said with a surprising amount of resolve.

"You know that's not true Marty." Nell said firmly. She waited for a moment, expecting a response, but she got none.

"So… does this mean you're not interested in pursuing Kensi anymore?" Nell asked, already knowing the answer.

"No. I'm done with her. I hope she had a C plan in mind." Deeks said bitterly.

They sat in comfortable silence for a long while until he spoke again.

"I'm going to have to go back to LAPD. I don't know if I can handle working at NCIS knowing this." Deeks said forlornly, drawing a gasp from the red head.

That was one of Nell's biggest fears. In fact it was the main motivator why it took so long for her to tell him. Eric wanted to tell him right away, but Nell cautioned against if for this very reason. She balked at the thought of one of her honorary brothers leaving NCIS.

"Leave? But, Deeks, we love you here. You belong here." Nell tried to argue.

"I know, and I love NCIS, it was the closest thing to home that I've had in a long time." Deeks said. Nell noticed his use of past tense. She didn't like it at all.

"I'm sure Callen and Sam and even Ken-"Nell started.

Deeks interrupted her. "They are just going to take ' little sister's ' side. I've always been replaceable; just like Sam always said, _temp_. Her? Not so much. If one of those three walks, they all go." Deeks said bitterly.

Nell sighed. She knew he wasn't being exactly rational. She had noticed that the two senior agents have taken a liking to Deeks, especially while Kensi was in Afghanistan. Plus, she wasn't convinced that they would take Kensi's side over Deeks.

"I think you would be surprised about Callen and Sam, Deeks." Nell commented, desperately hoping to change his mind. She didn't want to imagine what NCIS would be like without the shaggy detective on the team. He'd always been there while she was.

Deeks sighed. "Maybe I would be. But… this is how it has to be Nell. I won't… I won't be able to work with her… be around her, regardless of whose side Callen and Sam take. And even then I'd stir shit up with the team, and I can't bring myself to do anything that would break up their team... It was better without me anyway. " He said

The defeated blonde surfer rose up and brushed himself off. "Thanks for telling me all of this Nell. I know it wasn't easy." Deeks said dejectedly, giving his red headed friend one more hug.

"I know you don't think you can handle being around Kensi, but Eric and I… we're still your friends. If you ever need _anything_, please call us. I mean… I know you probably don't wanna talk to anyone right now, but don't cut us out, okay?" Nell begged, keeping a hold on his arm.

Deeks managed a small smile, for her sake. "Alright, Velms." He squeezed the hand on his arm, before gently pulling it off and turning to walk away.

He paused his walk and spun on his heel. "Oh, and that thing you have with Eric? Don't wait. Don't be like me. _Please_." With that, Deeks turned and kept walking; leaving Nell behind feeling one part anguish, two parts pissed off at one Agent Kensi Blye.

* * *

(aray48: you see what he did? He just... UGH. can't even deal with this. -_-)

A/N: Still with me? If you are, I would love to hear what you think of this. It's going to be a multi chapter, maybe 2 or 3 more. I have an idea of where I want to take this, but I always welcome outside opinions. I tried to give aray48 co-author. She not so politely refused. She gets less than 12% of the credit. haha j/k, I would be a crap writer without her.

I would also love it if you remembered to follow/favorite and review. Not just my story, but any story you like here on the site. It really helps us do what we do knowing we have readers!


	2. Confirmation

A/N: Hey guys! I didn't expect this story to get the kind of response that it did. Thanks a lot! I'll try not to let you guys down.

This one is a little shorter than the last, but just as powerful in my opinion. Feel free to let me know what you think, good or bad.

A Big thanks to aray48. She may hate angst, but she is a trooper when dealing with it. Wouldn't have gotten very far in this without her advising.

Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS LA. Wish I did. Densi would be together waaaaaayy before season 5.

* * *

After Deeks left the beach, he just drove around town, with no destination, trying to digest everything that happened that evening.

Like it or not, his life had taken a huge turn. Deeks almost certainly could not stay at NCIS; working with Kensi would be too hard.

That said,Deeks felt that Kensi should get the chance to explain herself. After all, that was only fair. Deeks was driving himself crazy, replaying every word that Nell had told him. He needed to talk to Kensi.

His body must have been in agreement with his mind, because he found himself parked in front of Kensi's apartment.

Before opening his car door, Deeks took a deep breath to calm himself.

He was going to need it.

The closer he got to Kensi's door, the more determined he became. The nervousness was dissipating with every step.

He could do this..

Deeks heard shuffling within her apartment, before the door opened revealing a smiling Kensi Blye. Her smile slowly disappeared when she took in his expression.

"Deeks? Is everything okay?" Kensi asked cautiously.

"Tell me it isn't true." Deeks stated desperately.

Kensi blinked at his tone. "Is what true? Deeks what's going on?" She asked, confused.

"Tell me you didn't really give yourself up to those terrorists. Tell me you didn't do it just to talk to Jack." Deeks demanded.

Kensi stood shocked. _Oh crap. How did he find that out? _"Deeks…" She ran a hand through her hair, unsure of how to explain things to him.

"Oh my God..." Deeks whispered, understanding what she wasn't saying.

"No, Deeks hold on! Lemme just… just give me a minute to explain!" Kensi exclaimed.

"You… you really did it, didn't you?" He asked her, his eyes wide and showing every bit of sadness and devastation in his eyes.

"I was ordered to kill the White Ghost, and it turned out that it was Jack! But that didn't make any sense, he was a good man and-" Kensi said quickly.

"A good man? The same good man that broke your heart, and left you on _Christmas morning_?" Deeks gaped, shaking his head.

"Yes, I mean no! I… yes he left me but Deeks he wouldn't do some of the things they were accusing him of! I knew it was wrong and I had to find out the truth!" Kensi replied.

"Yea? But _willingly_ getting captured by the Taliban? Kensi, the chances of you getting in _and_ out alive were slim at best! What if they'd killed you?" Deeks snapped.

Her mouth opened and closed several times. "I had to know… I had to- to talk to him and find out for myself." She said desperately.

"Yea, and the rest of us be damned, huh? What if Callen and Sam had died trying to rescue you? Because they almost did. I lost a piece of my soul over there, Kensi! Not to mention all this shit I went through, having you for one night before having you ripped away." Deeks told her, tears brimming his eyes.

"I… I know, and I've thought about that a lot after the fact. But at the time, all I could see was going through with it." Kensi sighed, biting her lips.

"And all I could see was you coming back to me. _Me_ Kensi. I promised you I'd be patient with you. I waited for you while you were over there; hell, I… I went and helped to get you back. I wanted you to come back to me Kensi, but… you went back to Jack." Deeks said.

"Deeks I…"

"No. You had a shot at him Kensi; you could've taken it, packed it up and came back to LA. The team wouldn't have had to go over there and risk our lives to get you- worry about if you were even there for us to go get. You wouldn't have had to go through whatever it was that happened to you. You. Almost. Died. Kensi. No do overs, no rewinds. You were willing to not come back to me and the team, and your mom, to go talk to Jack." He said, his voice cracking at the end.

"I had to, Deeks. I knew killing him wasn't the right thing to do." Kensi defended herself.

"Just tell me one thing." Deeks sighed, rubbing a hand over his jaw. "Was it worth it? Talking to Jack." He asked, almost afraid of her answer.

"Well I-" She started.  
"No, just one word. Yes or no, Kensi." Deeks stopped her.

Kensi stared at him for a moment before nodding. "Yes. It was. Because-" But Deeks shook his head and backed away.

"Wow… yea, uh… I'm just gonna… go." Deeks sighed. He could feel the remaining bits of his heart cracking at her words.

"Wait, Deeks!" She called after him.

"That's all I needed to know. I gotta go." The man said quickly, before turning on his heel and walking away.

Because after all, she'd walked away from him and towards another man.

* * *

A/N: Still with me? That's good! Oh the feels!

Let me know what you think. I have a general idea on where I want to take this, but I am always open to ideas. Thanks for hanging in there with me.


	3. Resignation

A/N: So you're back for more huh? You must be a glutton for punishment.*sigh* I guess I'll continue this. :P

In all seriousness though, thank you for all of the support and encouragement for this fic, and for giving it a chance. Although I am a hardcore DENSI fan, I also like to stir shit up, as I am sure you have figured out by now. if you havn't... give it a moment.

Shout out to my _very_ reluctant CO WRITER aray48. she likes to think she isn't. But she is. Muhaha. I wouldn't be very good without her. Also a big shout out to JerichoSteele for his help with ideas and for listening to my rambles. If you haven't checked out either of these authors, whats wrong with you? They are some of the best in the fandom.

Disclaimer: Don't own, blah blah blah.

* * *

Nell had assumed that Deeks had just said he was going to quit out of anger.

For once, she was wrong.

It was early in the morning, before all the agents usually got there and it was just Eric, Hetty and herself. Nell had been walking down to stairs from Ops heading for Hetty's desk to give her some paperwork when she seen it.

Deeks was handing in a small stack of paper to Hetty. Judging by the look on her face, she clearly wasn't pleased. Deeks held out his hand to Hetty, and the diminutive leader seemed hesitant to accept it, but did. The purpose of the shake was clear.

It was goodbye. And maybe even a little bit of a thank you.

Tears brimmed in Nell's eyes.

Deeks rose from his seat in front of Hetty's desk and walked away. His head was faced toward the floor, and posture was slouched as he walked, looking every bit like a defeated man.

"Deeks?" Nell called softly.

The blonde surfer stopped and looked up. The look in his eyes nearly made Nell burst into tears; a little bit lost, a lot sad.

"Hey Nell. Thought I would be the only one here." Deeks stated sadly.

"You were just going to leave without even saying goodbye?" The little red head inquired.

"Does that really surprise you?" He asked, although it sounded more like a statement than question.

If Nell was being completely honest, it really didn't.

A choked sob escaped the tiny analyst, and suddenly Deeks found himself with an armful of a tearful Nell Jones. She squeezed him with a strength that surprised him, and Deeks found himself squeezing back almost as hard.

"I'm going to miss you." Nell managed between sniffles.

Deeks wasn't expecting this kind of reaction; he had tried to slip in early before everyone else to avoid this very thing. Seeing Nell like this almost had Deeks running back to Hetty and snatching the papers back and giving some feeble excuse about a practical joke.

"I'll miss you too Velma, but I'm not dying, at least I don't think so." Deeks said, trying to inject some humor into the moment.

No sale.

"Promise you'll call, or stop by or both." Nell said.

"I'm not sure about stopping by, but I can call; check in with you every once in a while." Deeks promised.

After a long moment, they two parted.

"Who else is here?" Deeks asked, resigned.

"Eric." Nell stated.

Deeks put two fingers up to his mouth, and gave a loud whistle. The shaggy man merely shrugged at Nell's slightly amused smile.

"What? I always wanted to do that." Deeks said.

It didn't take long for the tech wizard to make an appearance. With his eyebrows raised and his trusty tablet in hand, Eric emerged from OPS; almost demanding to know who would dare call him by his own whistle. At seeing the looks on both of their faces, Eric knew what was going on. Nell had filled him in on everything a couple of hours ago. The techie's shoulders noticeably sagged.

The two men bro-hugged for a long moment.

"I really wish you weren't leaving bro." Eric said sadly.

"Me too. But I have to." Deeks said.

"Take care buddy. Keep in touch. We will always be here if you need us." Eric said with a sniffle.

"I will. Take care you two." The detective said, walking away.

Nell was pleased to see that Deeks walked a little straighter.

* * *

A few hours later the agents walked into the bullpen, expecting another day of kicking bad guy ass. However, that not what they got; a moment later, Hetty walked into the bullpen. Sam noticed that the old spy didn't even try to sneak up on them.

"What's up?" Sam asked.

"Mr. Deeks has terminated his position at NCIS." Hetty said heavily.

"Wait. _What_? Deeks just left? Did he at least say why?" asked Callen.

"He said that he was unable to stay here due to personal reasons. He refused to go into detail." Hetty replied.

That was true. Deeks didn't give the reasons why he was leaving. He didn't have to. Hetty suspected what it was about, and seeing the guilty look that crossed his partners... ex-partners, face confirmed it for the iron-fisted leader. It was something about Ms. Blye.

_Bugger._

"Where is he Hetty? I want to have a little talk with him." Sam said.

Callen nodded in agreement.

"I do not know. He left some time ago." Hetty stated.

"Well, come on guys. Let's go find him and talk him out of whatever nonsense he has gotten himself into this time." Sam said, rising from his chair.

Callen also rose from his seat. "You coming Kens?" He questioned.

Kensi hadn't moved since Hetty had delivered her news. _Deeks had left NCIS? He wasn't her partner anymore? _Thoughts of the conversation they'd had last night rushed through her mind. She knew he had been upset, and after a little thinking Kensi had come to realize that he had the right to be upset. But she never thought that he would _leave NCIS_.

Sam and Callen looked at each other perplexed. "Earth to Kensi." The SEAL said, waving his hand in front of her face.

"Deeks…left." Kensi stated, obviously in shock.

The men exchanged a worried glance; they could tell how hard this had hit her, and knew she would soon close up her walls and shut them all out if they didn't do something.

"We have established this yes. Now we're going to find out why, talk him out of it. You know, the fun stuff." Callen shrugged.

"We might even have to drag him here. I might even tie him up. Gag him." Sam smirked.

"Ooh, some peace and quiet for a minute." Callen chuckled.

"No… you guys if Deeks really left, if he's really gone, he won't want to see me." Kensi said slowly.

"Why's that?" The senior agent in charge demanded.

"Reasons." The female agent mumbled.

"So lemme get this straight. You, Kensi Blye, are going to sit here, in OPS, while G and I go round up your partner?" Sam asked, incredulously.

"If you manage to bring him back, yeah…" Kensi replied.

Callen glanced at Sam, before deciding to let it go. He could tell she needed some time to herself to process. And he and his partner had a man to find.

And possibly tie up and gag.

"Yo, Eric! We're gonna need a trace!" Callen yelled towards OPS, as he and Sam turned on their heels and quickly walked out of the building.

* * *

Deeks had been sitting in his car for a couple of hours now. He was parked at the beach, watching the few people there. The surf was horrible that morning, so the blonde cop felt no desire to join them. The beach was where he was comfortable at though, and he needed that right now.

He didn't have many other places to go.

Deeks had gone to Bates' office earlier and explained that he was no longer the liaison for the LAPD and NCIS and asked for an undercover assignment. Upon looking at the detective, and in an unusual moment of kindness, Bates decided against giving him an assignment, instead giving him a couple months off to "get his head on straight."

Now that he had two months off, and no NCIS or LAPD cases to keep him occupied, Deeks was stuck. What the hell was he supposed to do with two months of sitting around?

_Maybe I should take a vacation._ Deeks thought idly.

The man was so lost in thought, he never saw the two agents storming over to his car. Deeks had his sights set firmly on the horizon, and wasn't paying attention to anything.

And then both of the backdoors opened.

Deeks arched an eyebrow and glanced up in his rear view mirror, seeing two pissed off federal agents.

_Shit._

"Nice entrance. You boys rehearse that one?" Deeks quipped.

"I thought I told you to always keep your doors locked." Sam said firmly.

"Nice view." Callen said, glancing around calmly.

"Good cop bad cop?" The detective chuckled slightly.

"What the hell are you doing here, Deeks?" The SEAL demanded, his eyes boring into Deeks' through the mirror.

"We had this talk with Hetty this morning, really interesting conversation topic." Callen quipped, picking at some dirt under his nails.

"I quit." Deeks stated simply.

"Yeah, we gathered that. We want to know _why_. And without an explanation." Sam growled. He hadn't spent the last few years getting used to the blonde man for it to end like this damn it.

"Yeah, I mean we spent all this time house training you, and then you just up and run away like that? I didn't even get a goodbye note." Callen smirked.

"Look guys-"

Callen's phones started ringing.

"Yes Nell? Kind of busy." Callen said. He sat silently for a few moments, listening to whatever retort the red head had replied with. After a few seconds, the man hung up.

"Sam, we're needed back in OPS. Deeks? This isn't over. Meet us later tonight at our usual hotspot for drinks." Callen ordered.

Deeks almost chuckled at the fact that Callen was giving him an order. Instead he sighed.

"Alright, I'll meet you guys there." Deeks promised.

"Yes you will." Sam growled, as they both exited the vehicle at the same time.

Deeks sat still for a few moments, his tongue in his cheek. "They _totally_ rehearsed that."

* * *

A/N: Hate me yet? Please don't. I have a lot more in store.

Feel free to follow/favorite and review. Not only my fic, but any fic that you like on the site. It really helps us do what we do knowing we have people who actually read the stuff we write!


	4. Conversion

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews. They really encourage me to keep going. This chapter is more of a transitional chapter, and its a bit shorter than the others.

Shoutout to aray48 for putting up with this fic, and for the ideas and editing she does for it. if she wants at least 45%, she has it.

* * *

"… And I confronted her about it… it turns out everything Nell told me was true. I'm sorry guys; I just can't work with her anymore. Not now… not that I know what _actually_ happened." Deeks finished, placing his empty beer bottle on the counter.

Callen and Sam sat in stunned silence; everything the young detective had told them deeply troubled the two agents. However, now that they knew the whole story, they could understand the predicament Deeks was in.

"I know we never told you this enough, but we loved having you as a part of the team, Deeks." Callen said.

"Yeah, we did. We understand where you're coming from on this. And I think you're right Deeks; this is probably the best course of action at this point." Sam continued.

"Thanks guys." Deeks said, his voice almost cracking. It was good to know he had Callen and Sam in his corner.

The three men got off their bar stools and after paying their tabs, walked out of the bar toward the parking lot. Surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprisingly if one really thought about it, the senior agents both bro hugged the shaggy surfer.

Callen walked back toward the Challenger, sensing that Sam wanted a moment alone with the detective.

"If you ever need anything Deeks, or if you ever want to come back, you know where to find me." Sam said seriously.

"See! I knew I would wear you down eventually big guy." Deeks smirked. Sam merely rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face ruined the effect. Growing serious, Deeks added, "I will."

And with that, Sam got in his Challenger and drove off.

The drive home for Deeks was surprisingly pleasant. The talk with the guys went better than he could have ever hoped for.

He had Nell and Eric on his side, and now Deeks knew for definite that Callen and Sam were in his corner if he ever needed anything. And, the detective mused, he would probably also have the support of Hetty in whatever he chose to do.

But as Deeks walked through his apartment, headed for his bedroom for some much needed sleep, he couldn't figure out what he'd do now.

Maybe the morning would bring answers.

* * *

Apparently, the morning decided not to give Deeks his answers.

The shaggy detective barely got any sleep, but it wasn't as bad as the night before. Monty barked happily, attempting to get Deeks' attention but to no avail; the man merely patted him on the head before trudging around his living room, looking for his wetsuit.

After gearing up for a round of morning surf, Deeks walked out his door with surfboard in hand, and nearly stepped on an envelope lying on his doorstep. Perplexed, he set his surfboard down and grabbed the manila envelope. Making a split second decision to open it later, Deeks went back inside and set it on his living room table, and went out to surf.

The surf that morning was mediocre at best, and everywhere reminded him of either Kensi or the team.

He spotted a food truck he and Kensi had often ate at, causing unwanted happier memories to swirl in his head. Deeks remembered attempting to teach her how to surf out here once, and it made him fall off his surfboard and into the ocean.

With a frustrated sigh, Deeks ran a hand through his wet hair and looked around. A black Challenger sped passed in the distance, and he swore that that was Sam's. Deeks immediately thought of the team, and if they'd gotten a case.

_A case without him_.

Everything reminded him of _something_. And it frustrated the hell out of the shaggy man. Deeks had quit NCIS to get away from all of that, to try and live his life without thinking about Kensi and how she would never _really_ be his.

_I need a different spot to surf... maybe even a complete change of scenery, _mussed the detective. The Surfer packed up and headed home.

* * *

Deeks' eyes immediately fell to the large envelope lying on his coffee table. Curiosity and his famous detective skills finally compelled the blonde to pick it up. Deeks gave it a slight shake, like a small child would with a present.

Tearing open the manila envelope, Deeks was shocked to see what was inside. A passport, and a plane ticket to Mexico, as well as information on a resort. A note was also included.

_Sometimes you have to get away to find yourself. _

_Hetty._

"Change in scenery it is." Deeks chuckled. "Looks like I'm going to Mexico."

* * *

A/N: Short, I know. Next one will be longer. Remember to follow/fav and review. Not just this fic, but any fic you like on this site. It really helps keep writers going.

I also would like to hear your thought about where you might like the story to go from here. I have a general idea of where I want to take this, but I am open to suggestions. Until next time!


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